one year ago today

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One year ago today I was in labor. All day, from contractions that started in earnest at midnight until the sprout was born at 11:58pm. While my water broke on the evening of the 15th, there is no doubt that the 16th is his Day Of Birth.

Despite all of the trying and hoping and planning, the classes and reading and shopping, I was not prepared to be having a baby. I like to think that was due to his arrival three weeks ahead of his due date, but the truth is that I probably would have felt completely out of my element at any time. Okay, yes, it would have been nice to not have missed the last class sessions that covered active labor, postpartum issues, and how to take care of your newborn, that probably would have helped a bit. Thankfully my partner had read ahead and we had two amazing midwives and an acupuncturist to help me through the rest of it. Emotionally, though, I am certain that some part of the reason my labor lasted 24 hours was my resistance to the reality that I was actually having a baby RIGHT NOW and was soon to cross over that line between my established comfortable life and my new unpredictable life as a mother. (I’m pretty sure the rest of the reason was the sprout’s elbow, which seemed to be lodged somewhere around my kidney for the duration of my labor, right until he arrived with his hand tucked up on his cheek.)

Yet with all of that swirling around, I knew that I could birth this baby the way I wanted to—in my home, in water, without interventions—and when the time came, I did. In the end, I was strong enough and I was able to connect with that knowledge and use it. There is a lovely quote by one of our midwives in a recent profile where she states her desire for women to understand that they are capable of handling birth because the strength of the contractions is nothing more than the strength of their own bodies. We are not separate from the process: birth is not something that happens to us. Birth is something that we do, or that our bodies do for us if we let them. When the sprout was finally born, I knew that it was time: he had been in there long enough, he was ready to come out, and it was my responsibility to make that happen. I did, and he was born into a pool of water in our home just before the next day arrived. He was tiny and blue and covered in cheesy vernix, and absolutely the most lovely little being my partner and I had ever seen. By effort and grace, we were among the lucky ones: I found the strength to make it to the end at home, and the sprout was just barely large enough to be full term and not need to be transferred for observation.

Despite being absolutely exhausted, I can still remember that first night so clearly. Holding him (I kept offering him to my partner, and our midwives kept reminding me that he needed to stay on my chest while he adjusted to being in the world), marveling at this tiny but feisty part of me that was now on the outside. Handing him over to be measured and weighed, assuring my partner from the other room that there were small outfits in the baby’s dresser drawer if he just kept looking (the sprout was still swimming in the smallest one they could find), and cradling him on my chest when we slept for the first time as a family of three.

And here we are, one year later. That tiny little baby is gone, and I can see how people end up with more (and more) children as I find myself missing that newborn, fiercely at times. Now we have an older baby who weighs nearly four times as much and is on the verge of becoming a young child, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. He is delightful in so many new ways, and the fact that they are the same ways that every baby delights all parents takes absolutely nothing from the experience of watching him grow and become himself. So happy birthday, sprout. We’re glad you’re here.

one year ago today

spring birds in the park

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This has been a good spring for seeing birds in our local park. In addition to the pair of Yellow-crowned Night Herons that returns each year, we have two and possibly three pairs of Mallards nesting along the stream. During my morning walks with the sprout, I’ve seen the usual suspects (Northern Flickers, Red-bellied Woodpeckers, Eastern Phoebes, Northern Cardinals, Northern Mockingbirds, Catbirds, Blue Jays, American Crows, Grackles, Carolina Wrens, Song Sparrows, House Sparrows, Starlings, American Robins, Carolina Chickadees, Downy/Hairy Woodpeckers, Mourning Doves, and American Goldfinches) as well as some fun surprises. We’ve come across Brown Thrashers, Yellow-rumped Warblers, a Common Yellowthroat, and Wood Thrushes foraging in the brush along the stream banks. There was a pair of Red-shouldered Hawks hanging around for long enough that we thought they might be nesting, but we haven’t seen or heard much of them lately. One day we walked along behind a Pileated Woodpecker going from tree to tree; now that the woods north of town have been demolished, I doubt it will be able to find suitable habitat nearby.

While I’m always happy to see birds, I’ve been thrilled to find frogs in the stream! So far I’ve only been able to spot bullfrogs, but I have high hopes for more diversity in years to come. We’ve also startled several bunnies (making the sprout cackle with glee) and seen one or two groundhogs in our travels. No luck yet with our nocturnal friends, although I’m pretty sure something (possum? raccoon? fox? skunk?) is visiting the side yard to chow down on the mulberries.

Now that summer is kicking into gear, I need to think about incorporating a bird bath into my plans for the garden. It’s getting hot out there and the little fluffballs of sparrow, cardinal, blue jay, and robin that we’re starting to see are going to need a place to cool off.

spring birds in the park

garden : pleasant surprise!

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It appears that our pieris plant may actually be a native! I had just assumed that it was the Japanese variety and hadn’t even really registered that there is a regional alternative. The other day when we were sitting on the porch I noticed that it was covered in bees of all sorts. So we looked it up again and identified it as a “Forest Flame” pieris, which is (as far as I can tell) a hybrid cultivar.

Over the past few years I’ve been vigilant about cutting out any damaged sprigs and the new growth is starting to fill out the shape of the plant. Once we removed the struggling evergreen on the north side of the pieris there was more room to grow in that direction. With the addition of the oak leaf hydrangea, that shady section of acid-loving shrubs with white flowers is now complete!

garden : pleasant surprise!

getting the detergent reek out of thrift store clothing

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It’s been years since I’ve shopped at thrift stores for myself; since October I have become addicted to thrifting for clothes for the baby. I keep saying I’m going to stop; what happens instead is that I just become more selective. Now that I’ve covered the basics, I look for better quality brands and focus on future sizes. Really, the sprout is going to just keep growing and growing so one could make an argument for buying things in all sizes. I’m not making that argument: I’m sticking with “soon I won’t have to shop at all for two years!” I’m not sure it’s any more convincing, but I’m running with it.

My only frustration with clothing from the thrift store (and even more with clothing from large consignment sales) is the smell. Not the musty smell, the “fragrance” smell from the high-octane detergents that people use on items that have been stored away for a season. (I suspect that the thrift store actually sprays one of those “freshener” sprays on everything rather than actually washing it all because the books sometimes have the same stink, but I don’t really know.) I end up having to soak everything I buy overnight in a borax and vinegar bath at least two nights in a row in order to bring the level of odor down enough to not stick to everything. I figure that if the chemicals in detergents give me migraines and itchy skin, they’re not doing anything great for the sprout; if it weren’t the rainy season, I’d take the extra step of airing everything on the drying rack in the sun.

This it’s-not-clean-until-it-reeks-of-something-artificial approach to washing clothes reflects a larger approach to home care that I don’t share. It’s quite the opposite for me (even with my nose reverting to its pre-pregnancy state, it’s still sensitive), and as a result I’ve learned what works without all the extra chemicals. For laundry, we use Seventh Generation’s fragrance-free non-petroleum-based detergent that contains enzymes to break down organic matter (and doesn’t contain optical brighteners). The enzymes are what you need to clean baby stains (and grass and food); stain-treating sprays contain them as do “baby” detergents. Since our detergent lists ingredients, I was able to see that it was basically the same as the baby version and decided not to switch; we also use a stick to spot treat for stains since the spray version is overwhelmingly smelly. In addition to detergent, I use borax in every load to help with odors and dinginess and chlorine-free bleach. Chlorine-free bleach turns out to be hydrogen peroxide (thank you, Seventh Generation labeling practices, for this information) which is the one thing that gets out blood rather than setting the stain (thank you, midwives, for this information).

This is all to say: it’s not necessary to dump a whole bunch of nasty smelling detergent into the wash to get your child’s clothing clean (even clean enough to sell)! Yes, I use three products in each load of laundry, but: the clothing comes out clean and smelling fresh, which for me means really not smelling at all. And, none of us go around sneezing or getting itchy rashes or headaches. It’s a bonus (to me) that the products themselves are non-toxic and made from plants rather than petroleum by-products.

As I said above, this is really the only downside to shopping for children’s clothing this way, as the prices are low and the quality is good. And, soon I won’t have to shop again for at least two years!

getting the detergent reek out of thrift store clothing

illegal dumping in our local stream

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The startling green stream at 5:30pm.


Slightly further upstream.

Once again, a company upstream dumped a whole bunch of stuff down the storm drains that flowed directly into our stream. This seems to happen every couple of months, which is frustrating (to put it lightly) to those of us working hard in town to clean up the stream and reestablish a viable ecosystem. Yesterday, people walking home through the park were treated to a neon green stream, full of what initially looked like a heckuva lot of antifreeze. Three hours later, the County hazmat team determined that it was “only” dye. Dye used to test the boiler system at “Building 4” of the office buildings two blocks away, apparently. How that dye was dumped into the storm drains rather than legally disposed of remains a mystery; the company seems to be claiming “faulty valve,” but I find it hard to imagine the location of a valve between the interior sewer system and the exterior storm drains. The Department of Environmental Resources is looking into it, and we hope to have more information soon. At the least, the NO DUMPING signs need to be touched up on the storm drains in the area.


The view from Adelphi Road, the entry point.


The view from two blocks downstream.

Although the dye is categorized as “non-toxic,” it’s still no small matter for the stream. After being in the water less than an hour, the dye lowered the stream pH from its normal (healthy) level of 7 to a much more acidic level of 4. At that level nothing but bacteria can live in the stream: adult fish die and the smaller invertebrates on which they depend die as well. It’s not clear how long it will take the stream to revert to normal: while the dye wasn’t as neon, the stream was still dark green at noon today at a point about a half mile downstream. Having just seen several pairs of ducks returning to the stream (not to mention grackles, thrushes, flickers, several kinds of sparrows, and phoebes), I’m hoping the rainwater will wash things through and the streambed will recover quickly.

It’s events like this that make us unlikely to just trust local developers to put adequate stormwater management and waste disposal plans in place when they propose to build highrises just upstream from our town. As the boy I encountered in the park last night said, “This goes to the Chesapeake Bay, right? Isn’t that really bad for the Bay?” Yes. Yes, it is.


Town Council Members Mickey Lucas and Margaret Mallino talking with Stream Committee Chair Tom Stickles.

illegal dumping in our local stream